Free to Love: How to Leave the Judging to the Judge
Part 7: Speaking the Truth in Love, Really
Part 7: Speaking the Truth in Love, Really
November 1, 2009 | by Ken Wilson
SERMON OUTLINE & SUMMARY
Truth Concern Survey:
1. In general truth is under assault in our time.
2. In matters of morals, the greatest danger is relativism.
3. An emphasis on love can sometimes disguise a lack of concern for truth
1= strongly disagree……………………………………………………..…………..5=strongly agree
Teaching of Jesus echoed in Paul & James on not judging is meant for those with a rock solid commitment to truth [score 12+]
As Truth Himself appears on world stage he comes with a warning: "judge not." If we pooh-pooh this warning, it is a sign we don't appreciate the power of the truth we bear.
Judging ban is a subordinate truth to the ruling truth that God is love. Love is the aim--"not judging" is the means to that end, not the end itself.
Today: Speaking the Truth in Love, Really.
Ephesians 3: 14-19
Paul did most of his theology out of direct experience. Paul knew God as his father and as father of every family ("in heaven & earth" a way to emphasize EVERY.)
Ephesians 3: 20-21
This revelation is more than we could ask or imagine, requiring full power of God at work;
"As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” (Eph. 4:1)
How might we live a life worthy of the calling? Something Paul is begging us to do:
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. (Eph. 4:2)
How do you balance humility & gentleness with something else? Not by being completely humble and gentle. Yet this is what Paul urges.
Ephesians 4: 3-6
Make every effort: more than reasonable, good, heroic effort; completely expend till none is left.
Ephesians. 4: 7-13 Extended parenthesis, leading to…
Ephesians 4: 14-16
Make Your Move (toward speaking the truth in love)
1. By understanding what the phrase means
If Paul had said, "speaking the truth in a swimming pool," we would understand--love is to be the surrounding context of our truth speaking. Otherwise, keep a lid on it.
2. By walking past our fear of conflict.
Forbearance is one thing, avoidance another.
We forebear out of love, we avoid out of fear.
Love drives out the fear that keeps us from going directly to each other to iron out our relationship wrinkles. "If you have something against your brother, go to your brother" --Jesus
3. By embracing the full dimensional love of God that Paul met on his knees.
Sometimes eyes of our heart have to be opened to see the love that is actually surrounding us. Our love blindness compromises our truth speaking.
3. By working on the "completely humble and gentle" part.
Paul's insistence on humility & gentleness is consistent with what we now know about how the brain functions. [Compliment-Criticism Ratio]
PRACTICAL TIPS
1. Do a 30 day fast from using E-mail to speak any truth that might be perceived as criticism.
It's nearly impossible to speak the truth in love via E-mail, if there is any even mildly negative content in E-mail. You might as well just yell your criticism, because that is how it will be received.
2. If after seven sermons, still dubious about importance of not judging, put it to the test: practice not judging for the 30 Days, and see if you experience more of the love of God.
By "practice not judging" I mean: when in doubt don't judge.
Go overboard in not judging, but just for the month.
SERMON OUTLINE & SUMMARY
Truth Concern Survey:
1. In general truth is under assault in our time.
2. In matters of morals, the greatest danger is relativism.
3. An emphasis on love can sometimes disguise a lack of concern for truth
1= strongly disagree……………………………………………………..…………..5=strongly agree
Teaching of Jesus echoed in Paul & James on not judging is meant for those with a rock solid commitment to truth [score 12+]
As Truth Himself appears on world stage he comes with a warning: "judge not." If we pooh-pooh this warning, it is a sign we don't appreciate the power of the truth we bear.
Judging ban is a subordinate truth to the ruling truth that God is love. Love is the aim--"not judging" is the means to that end, not the end itself.
Today: Speaking the Truth in Love, Really.
Ephesians 3: 14-19
Paul did most of his theology out of direct experience. Paul knew God as his father and as father of every family ("in heaven & earth" a way to emphasize EVERY.)
Ephesians 3: 20-21
This revelation is more than we could ask or imagine, requiring full power of God at work;
"As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” (Eph. 4:1)
How might we live a life worthy of the calling? Something Paul is begging us to do:
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. (Eph. 4:2)
How do you balance humility & gentleness with something else? Not by being completely humble and gentle. Yet this is what Paul urges.
Ephesians 4: 3-6
Make every effort: more than reasonable, good, heroic effort; completely expend till none is left.
Ephesians. 4: 7-13 Extended parenthesis, leading to…
Ephesians 4: 14-16
Make Your Move (toward speaking the truth in love)
1. By understanding what the phrase means
If Paul had said, "speaking the truth in a swimming pool," we would understand--love is to be the surrounding context of our truth speaking. Otherwise, keep a lid on it.
2. By walking past our fear of conflict.
Forbearance is one thing, avoidance another.
We forebear out of love, we avoid out of fear.
Love drives out the fear that keeps us from going directly to each other to iron out our relationship wrinkles. "If you have something against your brother, go to your brother" --Jesus
3. By embracing the full dimensional love of God that Paul met on his knees.
Sometimes eyes of our heart have to be opened to see the love that is actually surrounding us. Our love blindness compromises our truth speaking.
3. By working on the "completely humble and gentle" part.
Paul's insistence on humility & gentleness is consistent with what we now know about how the brain functions. [Compliment-Criticism Ratio]
PRACTICAL TIPS
1. Do a 30 day fast from using E-mail to speak any truth that might be perceived as criticism.
It's nearly impossible to speak the truth in love via E-mail, if there is any even mildly negative content in E-mail. You might as well just yell your criticism, because that is how it will be received.
2. If after seven sermons, still dubious about importance of not judging, put it to the test: practice not judging for the 30 Days, and see if you experience more of the love of God.
By "practice not judging" I mean: when in doubt don't judge.
Go overboard in not judging, but just for the month.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
2. Is there a situation in your life where you're afraid to practice assertiveness, "speaking the truth in love?" Why?
3. Is there someone you need to speak to directly, because there is a longstanding issue between you that hasn't been resolved?
4. If there were someone who was really angry with you, how would you want them to communicate this to you?
5. Who is the most "humble and gentle" person you know?
6. What's the best "constructive criticism" you've ever received? How did it feel to receive it?
7. Is there someone you may have hurt by offering criticism without love? How can you make it right?
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment